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Some Flowers Only Bloom in the Imagination

Perhaps he’s really NOT *that* into me?

Posted By on February 5, 2009

I saw this blog post on a girlfriend’s myspace blog, and I swear, I know quite a FEW people who should read this. She’s an extremely intelligent, driven young woman. I had the pleasure of working with her when I worked at FFG in Cary, NC. Genuinely nice girl. Anyway, here is what she says. i don’t know if it’s based off that new book that everyone talks about (which I haven’t read because I simply refuse to waste my money on dating books, I can fuck up a date just fine on my own…look at what I’ve done to my marriage, that’s a clue!)

“he left me a voicemail at work, so i called him at home, and he emailed my blackberry, so it texted his cell. it’s like being rejected by 7 differnt technologies…it’s exhausting”
I’ve had my fair share of dates, boyfriends, dating…whatever. To me..there is not much more complicated then dating. Do I call him, do I wait till he calls me? All these silly questions.

he’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.
I’ve met guys before out and about. They totally talk you up, you get along, you think there is this spark…then it happens. He asks for your number. You guys talk and talk and talk. But he never really…asks you OUT. Like meet in person…to have a FACE TO FACE date. So you’ve developed this “friendship”. The stupid line “I just don’t want to ruin a friendship” THAT is total BS. Men do not care about ruining a friendship. If he’s into YOU … then he will ask you out. RUN FORTHE HILLS GIRL!

he’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you.
Yep. When you go out with a guy on a date or two. You hit it off. Then, suddenly, he gets REALLY busy. He just got out of a relationship, he’s moving and doesn’t know how long it will take, he’s crazy busy at work, there is the gym membership he has. Whatever the excuse..if a guy is into you, he’ll find time to call you. I know when i’m having a crappy day, it’s nice to get a call or call the guy that makes all that bs from the day go away for a bit. So, busy is another word for ASSHOLE. You deserve a friggin phone call.

he’s just not that into you if he’s not dating you.
“hanging out is NOT dating” Sure the occasional mingling with friends is fun. It’s not really a “date” to see if you have any romantic interests together. This usually means, hand holding, just the two of you, dinner. So, this friend…great friend. We totally rock together. He had a really bad break-up. Says he just can’t bear to have any kinda pressure on him. Well, we end up sleeping together and it’s great. All the wonderful things. GREAT friends, now GREAT sex. But I can’t decide when or how often I get to see him. Well, LUCKYYYYY him!! All the benefits of a gal pal, AND the sex and affection he needs with NO obligation. You deserve a guy that if he likes you, he WANTS to see you more and more! If you dont know where the relationship os going, it’s ok to pull over and ask.

he’s just not that into you if he’s not having sex with you.
To me, if a guy isn’t having sex with you. He is either gay or the sad truth, he’s not attracted to you. If he isn’t pulling his paws off of you, and can’t stop staring at you, then there is a problem here. He’s not afraid of getting hurt. If he likes you, he’ll kiss you and wonder if you’re wearing a thong. That is what guys do! If you guys go to dinner, and watch movies, and have “slumber” parties with cuddling…and no sex…you need to just get a pet. Pet’s are God’s way of saying “don’t lower your standards, but because you are lonely” The classis tradition is that the woman withholds sex for power..well, seems like men can play that game too. Go find yourself a man that you feel comfortable with having sex with and wants to ravage you every chance he gets! Call it like it is .. a spade a spade or a friend a friend.

he’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you
when he’s drunk

Here is the classic thing most men and women do. Go out and party, and drunk dial that safe person who always answers. Meet up for the after party and it’s all fun wild and … well .. .drunken. Now, why would any self respecting girl wanna hang with a guy…and only when he’s drunk? When drinking, it slows down the thought process and things are not always that clear. So this guy only wants to parts of you? It’s sad that alcohol is a huge factor in the beginnings stages of relationships. Some would never get off the ground without a couple of glasses of wine or a shot. first kiss, first time having sex, even the first encounter. Make sure that the beau you meet…meets you under the few drinks to relax and not the “dude i’m bombed…you’re hot…let’s screw” You deserve to be around someone who doesn’t have to be loaded to be around you.

he’s just not that into you if he’s dissapeared on you
With all the technology floating around in space right now, there is NO excuse why a guy you are dating just vanishes out of thin air for days, weeks, or whatever. This one hit close to home. Recently I was kinda dating a guy. We went out on a Friday night…and cut the night early so he could rise n shine the next morning for work. I texted him late the next day asking how his meeting went. He did respond right back. an hour later…i texted him saying i’d like to see him that night and what was he doing. NOTHINg….I say…is tha a no?…..NOTHING. I finally realized…hey, this guy is just really not that into me like I thought. So, I sent a final text, because calling like an adult didnt work when he didnt answer, and told him that I didnt care what reason he had for vanishing again, that I just wasn’t interested in being with a guy like that. He texted me the NEXT day at 1pm. Said that he left his phone in his bosses car and didnt get it till that morning (monday). You know, that may as well be true…but it’s just not something I’m prepared to deal with in a man. If he’s into you, he will find a way to contact you! No answer…is your answer!

In conclusion to this dating phyco babble, these are somethings that I have learned through my years of dating and committing, falling in and out of love..lust..and fantasy!
1. I will not go out with aman who hasn’t asked me out first.
2. I will not date a man who is afraid to express his feelings.
3. I will not date a man who is not sure if he wants to date me.
4. I will not date a man that drinks and only wants to see me when he’s hammered.
5. I will not date a man who can’t decide whether to be just friends or date me.


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