Why not a book right now?
A few friends noticed my lack of writing lately. I apologize, deeply, to those friends. I’m slack. I plead the same, tired damn excuse as I always have: I am tired; exhausted really. Some folks know why, others don’t, and for privacy’s sake (ok, I know, on a fairly public blog..hush), won’t go into the details.
Most of ya’ll know I’m planning a book, or maybe just dreaming. It’s a good dream though I think, and one which appears needed in so many little ways. I just keep thinking about the original idea behind it.
Write a book, keep a journal of my health, and when I am well n good on the road of recovery, finish it off on a positive note. Honestly, who wants to read something depressing, and at the end see that the author is still struggling. Not exactly hope-inspiring, to my mind.
So I’m waiting. i want to wait until I can give a different answer to the question, “How are you?”
You know the answer, “I’m tired.”
I don’t think I can reasonably consider myself “better”, or “recovered” and optimally treated unless I say I’m not tired, a lot more than I am. Does that make sense? If i’m still so exhausted, and so stressed, it’s very obvious I am not ready to inspire anyone to hope. And that’s the whole purpose of the book: to let people know what they’re going through is NOT just them, that they are NOT hypochondriacs. They are NOT imagining it. The hot flashes are NOT just them getting older, and not just because they are female.
They aren’t mentally insane or unstable. They don’t need anti depressants, anti anxiety pills, or other mood altering drugs just to endure day to day. Forget thriving in that kind of environment.
So I’ll keep plugging away, and making note of the days when I feel better than just “ok” or “tired.”I know it will happen. I hope soon.
Peace.
